Boundary Violation
Apparently it’s not just public figures who have their online boundaries violated. The other night, guy comes into a chat…sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn’t it? It was anything but. Let me set the scene by saying I’ve had a few very minor run-ins with this person before. Months ago. Just me being snarky, like I do.
He came into the chat and there was, again, minor snarkage. He blew his fucking top and started cursing and insulting me in front of about 40 people. He singled me out of the group of snarkers, for some reason. The chat mod appropriately commanded us to take it to IM. I was reluctant to give out my IM info, but I really respect the mod, so I did.
I’m still shaken by what followed. He demanded that we “work things out” and wanted to know why I have a “vendetta” against him. Buh? Dude, I’ve talked to you all of 4-5 times, the last time being more than two months ago. I said as much and added that I felt no obligation to work things out as I *don’t know him*. He pushed for a reason why I “don’t like him.”
You do not ask me questions like that unless you’re willing to hear an honest answer. Which I gave, in detail, including the fact that he’s an annoying little assclown with no sense of appropriate boundaries. Sorry, but he pushed me.
What followed was a string of profanity, sexual insults and threats the likes of which I have never experienced. Insults that were so graphic and personal that I thought I was going to vomit. I banned his ass from my IM and told him if I heard even one more word, I was reporting him to the authorities.
Not *five minutes later* in the public chat, he slimed in trying to make it seem like we’d just had a misunderstanding and I was blowing it out of proportion. No, dude. We did not have a misunderstanding. You singled me out, violated my boundaries, violated *me* and as far as I can tell you did it for no other reason than being in a bad mood.
What’s the problem here? This is someone that I may have to share actual, physical space with at some point. To say I feel uncomfortable about that is a vast understatement. What I don’t understand is apparently this isn’t the first time this guy has pulled a stunt like this. Apparently he shows up every couple of months, pitches a psycho fit, attempts to ameliorate his behavior by sliming on people and then leaves again. Yet, his presence is still tolerated in the virtual and physical community. W…T…F…?
And yeah…didn’t save the chat log. *sigh*
For what it’s worth, he seems like a genuinely disturbed individual in need of help. His attacks seemed more like a cry for help than an intentional violation, which doesn’t actually make it any less of a violation, just possibly one with two victims instead of just the one, if that makes any sense. Alternately, it might just have been a cry for attention, which makes him troll scum and not worth worrying over.
I don’t really care which it was. If it was a friend, maybe I would. And I think as long as people play into his victim mentality, he will take that as license to continue abusing people.
Eww…is there a way you can petition the mods or managers, or whoever is in charge to get them banned? One would think that if this is a recurring issue, they would have noticed by now and done something about it. Could be, though, that no one has complained loud enough.
*hug*
The mod was there for the public part of the conversation. I don’t know what his reason is for not banning the guy, but clearly he has one. If it persists, I’m just going to have to go elsewhere.