The advent of social networking has brought people closer together, there’s no doubt about that. But sometimes, it brings people too close for comfort and the question arises, how do you distance without drama? A personal note? A simple de-friend or unfollow with no explanation? What’s the new etiquette?

I think I’ve learned the answer the hard way this last week both by clumsily unfollowing several people on Twitter and being de-friended on Facebook by someone different. I’ve experienced it from both sides, so to speak.

People view their social networking personas as an extension of themselves. To be de-friended or unfollowed can feel like a very personal rejection. Distancing or severing social networking ties requires a delicate touch if you wish to retain the friendship behind the screen. Sometimes, a person is so attached to their social networking persona that it’s not possible to separate one from the other. I might be able to see that someone has de-friended me, scratch my head for a moment and move on. Other people are going to be far more upset. It’s the nature of people.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only acceptable etiquette is no etiquette at all. You just do it. Click the button and walk away. Don’t bother trying to cushion the blow or explain yourself because there’s nothing you can say that doesn’t amount to, “I don’t want to read what you’re putting out there.” If someone’s going to be hurt by that, they’re going to be hurt and you can’t stop it.

Should the person ask for an explanation, don’t provide one. Instead, say this: “It was a personal decision. You can still get in touch with me via (Facebook, email, telephone, whatever),” and leave it at that. Otherwise you risk getting drawn into a protracted social networking drama war with all it’s attendant idiocy and really, no one wants that.

Life. Learning the lessons and passing them on. That’s all it’s really about.