One of my favorite things about autumn (and spring for that matter) is being able to have the windows open. I’m sitting here with a lovely fall breeze freshening the house and dusting off the air-conditioned funk that’s built up over the summer. Lest you think my house smells, it’s not a physical stink. It’s a spiritual stagnation brought about by enforced isolation from nature.

Here in Missouri, air conditioning is a necessity well into September. If it’s not oppressively hot, the allergens are so bad that filtration is a must. We don’t have to turn on the heat until November, typically, but then it stays on until late March or so and brings about the same dampening of spiritual energy.

I have not discussed paganism much in this blog, but it is a large part of my life. I don’t belong to a coven. I don’t call myself the High Priestess of the Concocted Mysteries, Third Degree. I don’t cast spells. I don’t even worship a specific deity. My faith is in nature, the sun, the stars, the moon, and in the great One that is above all the universe. Call it what you will, God, Allah, Buddha, Ceridwen, to me all gods are one and the One is all gods.

So, when I get too cut off from nature, my spirit wilts. No…I’m not a camper or an outdoorswoman. In fact, I’m far from that. My idea of camping is the Motel 6 and a hike is a walk around the block. But I still need to feel the breezes and hear them rustle through the trees. I need to taste the air before a storm and smell the freshness when it’s passed. I need to feel connected in my own small way. When I do, my spirit expands beyond the boundaries of my body and twines with nature in an ecstasy that’s impossible to articulate.

My religion…the church of open windows…

I understand that polyamory isn’t for everyone. In fact, I understand it isn’t for most people. I get that people are going to be uncomfortable with the way I live my life at times. I have no control over the attitudes and opinions that people form when they find out who and what I am. That said, I’m not going to put myself in the closet because it makes people uncomfortable.

Recently I had what I’ve come to know is an unfortunately common experience. Guy A finds out I’m poly. Guy A therefore assumes that any contact initiated by me is a come-on because you know…poly girls will do anyone. *snort* Guy A can’t handle this and acts like a doofus every time I’m around him. It’s gone from mildly amusing to making me seethe. I came very close to telling him off the other night and I thought maybe it would be instructive to do so here.

Dear You Know Who You Are:

You seem to lack a fundamental understanding of what it means to be polyamorous. Allow me to educate you. It does not mean that I will sleep with anyone possessing the proper equipment. That is called being a slut, which I am most certainly not. I liked you, made an offer intended to allow me to get to know you better and I was turned down. No big deal. Being polyamorous also doesn’t mean that I don’t have discernment. From your reaction to a one-time, simple overture, I quickly discovered that you could never be my type and I let it drop. So I don’t really see your continuing discomfort as my problem.

What has become my problem is that you won’t let this go. Move on, already. Accept the fact that I challenge your boundaries and leave it at that. But please, don’t act as though you are doing me a favor by speaking to me. I let the matter drop months ago and you continue to be challenged by a non-existent situation. You are not all that and a bag of chips as you seem to think. Unlike some of the women with whom you surround yourself, I’m not going to fawn all over you and tell you what you want to hear just so I can be in the glorious light of your presence. In short, you sir, need to grow the hell up.

Furthermore, if you’re going to make judgments about me based on gossip, misinformation and outright lies by people who are acting out of simple jealousy, you are not a person I care to know in any way. Polyamory is based wholly on honesty and open communication. Because of that, I have extremely limited patience with games and drama of the sort that you attempt to pull every time I see you. So once again, I am going to attempt what I’ve done the past few months and let this go. I really hope you can do the same, because it’s getting old.

Any questions? Feel free to ask.

With extreme annoyance, Leah.

I’ve noticed lately that when the subject of healthcare reform comes up, many people become uncomfortable and demur, usually with a statement like, “I hate talking about politics.” I don’t get this. Has the issue become politicized? Yes. Has the discourse degenerated to name-calling and stupidity? Certainly. But if ordinary citizens can’t talk rationally about something that affects their day-to-day life, something is very wrong.

It’s all too easy, especially for centrists with health insurance (who comprise the majority of Americans), to dismiss issues like this one as “political” and blithely disengage. But when people do that, it opens the door for the fringe to dominate the discussion. Think about that. Do you really want the far-right to determine the future of healthcare simply because they can shout louder? Or the far left, who seem hell-bent on getting their public option to the point where they would rather scuttle any reform that doesn’t include it, no matter how meaningful?

Life is busy. I get that. I’m sure most people would far rather relax with a book or TV program than think about this hydra-headed issue. It certainly makes my brain hurt. But to not think about it and discuss it, to dismiss it as “politics,” is to give over control of the process to people who don’t have the best interests of the majority at heart. There have been many tragic mistakes made over the course of history because the majority remained silent. Don’t let this become one of them.

This weekend, if you haven’t already done so, I’m asking you to find an hour to do a little research, think about what your concerns are, then share them with your Congressional Representative here and your Senator here.

I’ve been thinking about scarcity lately. We live in a scarcity culture, as demonstrated by so many things. We squabble about spending resources on health care. We fear that immigrants will steal our resources. We’re jealous when someone gets an opportunity that we don’t. We compete over jobs, lovers and friends. We do these things because society tells us that if someone else gets something, by definition it takes something away from us.

But does it really? Or are we just too caught up in defending our own small patch of the universe that we fail to see that the most important things exist in enough abundance for everyone to share? Some things will always exist in limited quantities. Time. Physical energy. Money. Food. But the relative scarcity of these things can be offset by the limitless supplies of creativity, love, and regard for our fellow human beings.

Think about it. Perhaps someone you know gets an amazing opportunity. Or your best friend makes a new friend. Do these things truly diminish you in any way? Whether you believe they do or not depends on whether you’re living your life with an attitude of scarcity or one of abundance. It’s a conscious choice.

I choose abundance. When friends and family have good fortune, I choose to rejoice with and for them. Sometimes, it’s not an easy choice. Sometimes, good things happen to people I don’t particularly care for and it’s all too easy to slip into wondering why they deserved it and I didn’t. It is often an exercise in sheer will to continue believing that there are as many good things out there waiting for me as for anyone else. But for me, there is no alternative other than living a life filled with bitterness and envy which I flatly refuse to do.

I just finished reading the text of President Obama’s speech to schoochildren that he’s planning to deliver today, the first day of school for many children in America. As I expected, there’s a glaring absence of political content. He exhorts students to stay in school, find out what they’re good at, be responsible citizens, etc. He also re-tells my favorite story from the campaign about getting up at 4:30 in the morning to study with his mother and her answer to his complaints, “This is no picnic for me either, buster.”

But what I love most about this speech is the following bit of unassuming prose: “You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.”

Knowledge. Problem-solving skills. Insights. Critical thinking skills. Creativity. Ingenuity. All things that are critically important in today’s world and all in woefully short supply in this country. In fact, the debate over the speech itself demonstrates just how little some Americans engage in critical thinking in particular.

One of my most vivid childhood memories is of watching President Nixon resign his office. I was six years old, roughly the age my daughter is now. We were at the state fair in New Jersey, where we lived at the time. I remember being told to be quiet because the President was making an important speech. But my parents didn’t just hush me and protect me. They explained to me, in words a child could understand, what was happening and why they felt the resignation was significant.

All my young life, my father engaged me on the issues. He loved (and still does) to debate with me, challenging my views and making me think more deeply about my positions. Nothing drew more scorn from him than saying I’d heard it somewhere and therefore believed it. Simply put, he taught me to think for myself.

That, more than anything else, is what bothers me the most about the controversy regarding the President’s address. It’s not that people have different political views that I do. It’s not even that some parents would rather their child be excused from viewing the speech. That’s their right. It’s that an entire segment of the population is blindly, unquestioningly following a few noisy, lazy, ignorant people to whom critical thinking, logic and introspection are anathema.

That kind of blind obedience to anyone, be it God, Jesus or a radio talk show host, scares the wits out of me. Life is questioning. Life is seeking. Life is learning. Without those things, it’s just a long, boring slog to the end of the line. Who would choose to live like that?