A friend linked me to this article posted today on CNN.com. I read it. It’s not terrible. It’s not great. It’s typical pseudo-news, skimming the surface of a complex issue and designed specifically to provoke extreme reactions. It irritates me that this multi-faceted issue that affects my life so strongly is clearly being used as an attention grab by CNN. You can see that in the comments, which range from the usual “HEATHENS OMG WTF WHAT ABOUT THE CHILLLLDREEENNNN??” to (a few) thoughtful remarks on the nature of monogamy and whether it’s a sustainable social construct.

After reading each of the comments (OK, I admit it, I skipped over the worst of the fundie doggerel) I’m left with the thought that I’m not really doing or feeling anything much different than the majority of mono people out there. I have relationships outside my marriage. Whoop de do. So do more than 50% of mono people. The difference?

I’m honest about it.

My husband and I refuse to embrace the self-flagellating dogma that you can only have an affair if you feel really, really bad about it afterwards. We refuse to allow the societal expectation that loving more than one person at a time is wrong to destroy the beautiful thing that is our marriage. And despite what some people have intimated, our marriage is not diminished by this. It’s nurtured by our ability to accept one other. Our marriage is as strong as it is precisely because we freely admit that neither of us can be each other’s everything all of the time, nor do we want to.

The media will persist in using fluffy human-interest stories about polyamory to rile up their subscribers and drive people to their content. Therefore, those of us who practice must fearlessly persist in telling the truth from our point of view as well.